i got home the next day, in a pretty good mood but was then immediately thrown into frustration with e again — he had said he’d do 3 things that day and he didn’t do them, he still hasn’t done one of them and it’s been a week. albeit he did other things. again i was disappointed. i felt like i was lied to again, that ‘promises’ made to me weren’t being taken seriously. that i wasn’t being taken seriously. but i had had a lot of time to think about it and i knew what i didn’t want for myself. i didn’t want to be someone’s keeper. i didn’t want to feel like my husband’s mom. i wanted the brain space to be focused on myself and what i wanted to do, not what someone else is supposed to do. our dynamic was getting toxic, i was starting to resent him, and i needed to pull myself out of it. i asked him to chat that night and i told him all this. he confirmed that he didn’t feel like he was lying because in the moment when he says he’s going to do those things, he means to. and i believe him, but it doesn’t take away the constant deep disappointment of expectations being unmet. But by this time I had already snapped back into my usual self and was ready to make changes that I thought would serve both myself and him. although the urge to form a protective cocoon around myself was high. i don’t think much has changed practically, other than my expectation and understanding of him. we’re still trying the same system and tasks and roles have not changed. i think it’s more so just me letting go of the expectation that everyone can operate like how i do and if something doesn’t happen, it’s not on me. and if i really want something done and it’s not done, i just do it. there’s a part in me that thinks this is unfair but in relationships, sometimes it is necessary to keep the harmony, it’s better that someone concedes. it’s better than me turning into a annoyed naggy waifu all the time.